Please revise my paper for a better grade revise the claim/theses , more of a developed way as something that as a argumentative so all of the sub-claim 1 – sub-claim 5 have to be revised too based on the thesis

Please revise my paper for a better grade Revise the Claim/Theses , More of a developed way as something that as a argumentative So all of the Sub-claim 1 – Sub-claim 5 have to be revised too based on the thesis

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